Showing posts with label Miles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Miles. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Winter weather

Snowy winter weather is awesome! I’m going to tell you how cool it is! First I’m going to tell you the best things about skiing. Skiing is a fun sport. Sometimes I try to do helicopters off jumps and try to get paid…sort of… I also like doing face plants because I like to pull off practical jokes, like the rope tied in the hallway. Now I’m going to tell you about sledding… I call it the ouch sport. Sledding hurts! Do NOT go off jumps seriously you’ll fly right off the sled. One time me and Ethan did the exact same thing …lets just say that was not the best day of our lives. WARNING: NEVER SLED WITH MORE THAN 2 PEOPLE, YOU MIGHT GO TO FAST AND FALL OFF. Now you finally know how to have a good winter.

By Miles
 For more information go to
:).com (this does NOT exist).

Friday, February 27, 2009

Craten the Cruton

”Craten, what was that story you told me about?” asked Mom. “The missile-toe one?” asked Craten, “What?” asked Mom. “Huh, I’ll tell you, it was Christmas, blah... blah... blah…” “Well get on with it!” yelled Mom.

”Hey I’m thinking! “snapped Craten, “Oh I remember now!

Craten did you put the missile-toe up?” Asked Mom, “Um…yeah.” said Craten. “Ok I’ll go see!” said Mom. “Wait until the old hippie goes in and gets hit by my missile with a toe!” thought Craten, “OHHH MAMA!!!” YELL…

IS CAPS LOCK STILL ON? OOPS That’s better!

yelled Mom, “MWAAAAHAHAHA!!!” CHUCKELED…

GRRR! There! Now caps lock is off!

Chuckled Craten. the…… Were did e go? Oh there it is!

The end! “How did you like the story?” asked Craten, “I’ll give it a 0! I hated it! (0=so bad I cant even read it 1=hated it 2=ok 3=good 4=loved it) Your grounded!” screamed Mom.” Why?” asked Craten, “For telling such a terrible story!” said Mom. BOOM! “OOOOWW!!!” yelled Mom

She yelled because she got hit by a big crowd .

“Did you just break our door in?” asked Mom. “YES I DID BREAK YOUR DOOR IN!!! CONGRAGULATIONS!!! YOU’VE JUST WON $100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.00!!!” Yelled a guy from the crowd, “Um, why?” asked Craten, “For telling such a terrible story!” said the guy, “SWWWWWEEET!” yelled Craten, “But what about me?” asked mom painfully getting up. “You don’t get ANYTHING.” said the guy. “GRRRR!” said mom.

When the guy said you don’t get ANYTHING, Craten was very happy

(40 years later in a great big salad bowl which was the home of Craten The Croton, the awful story teller. )

“WOOOO-HOOOOOO! said Craten. “I’ve never had 20 butlers and 50 house keepers!” Delivery for Craten The Croton
His last name has a lot of silent letters in it so its d. (dee)

Yelled the butler Linda. (Linda is a boy) “Is it the 1000 foot TV?”
asked Craten. “Yes.” said Linda. “Put in the living room.” said Craten. “There is no living room!” said Linda. “Make one!” said snappy pants Craten. “But...said Linda. “No buts!” said Craten. “GRRR!!! thought Linda. I’ll show him!” And he did. (See next edition… PLEASE!!!)(P.S… I don’t think I’ll make another edition if you are a fan of Craten the cru ton) Then the door of the deluxe salad opened and a spoon entered and picked poor Craten up, “LINDA, HELP, AAAAAAHHHHHH!” “Sorry, making a living room here!” said Linda. “I’LL PAY YOU EXTRA!” screamed Craten. “I’m coming boss! screamed Linda. *GULP!* “a… a water slide… wait… this isn’t a water slide… it… it’s a throat!” screamed Craten and Linda at the same time. “NOOOOOOOOOO!!! ITS BARF!” screamed Craten. “But… isn’t that good?” asked Linda. “Oh yeah… YAY!” said Craten. “And they lived happily NEVER after, why? Because Craten spent all of his money and got a job at Sandy’s pancakes the best that you will ever find scrubbing toilets in the smelly gross and creepy girl’s bathroom.” (Its so gross the girls have to walk 10 miles to Al’s pizza the best pizza that you will ever find) and back just to go to the bathroom)

Credits: creator: Miles

Writer: Miles
Everything else: Miles
P.S., if you send me a quote it better be a good one!

Friday, January 9, 2009

Come To South Carolina

1/9/1670
Dear Sir,
Come to our beautiful South Carolina. When you come to South Carolina, there are many different jobs you can do to get money. Be ready to work. No work, plus no eat, equals starve and die. If you are rich, you can farm and be very rich! You can be a rice, indigo or cotton farmer. Rice is the most important!

If you are cold and don’t own a blanket, here, it is very warm in South Carolina. WARNING: DO NOT BRING BLANKET IN SUMMER! Bring a blanket for winter! We also have short and mild winters.

Need a map? I can be your own personal map. We are South from North Carolina and North of Georgia. We are in the southern colonies. We need you to sail across the Atlantic Ocean too. Make sure you dock at Charleston.

Now be careful with these! We are very low on food supplies. And we don't have much fresh water. Make sure you bring a year supplies of food and water. Please oh please come to South Carolina … NOW!!! (No reward)



Sincerely,

Miles Robert

Wednesday, November 26, 2008